In The Hour It Began (EP) 2012

by Valtiel

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about

A few final moments before the shedding of a skin no longer needed.
“The door once open is open to all” and whatever (or whoever) may come!

credits

released August 9, 2012

Artwork: Andrei Golubtsov
Production: The Digital Insomniac, Aquileia, Disguised, Illcutz

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Valtiel Phoenix, Arizona

Dreams Fade

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Track Name: Chamber of Reflection
Stepped through the door
In that hour it began
Looking for the morgue
But I've found it in my hands
Dead end entrance
Living lifeless with no exit
Only self reflection
It was more fun in hell
Had my ruin to feed on
But I knew it's only an illusion of freedom
Cell without key a new world gives birth
Make right with the elements
Revisit the interior
Track Name: Haunt You First
It’s coming and got you first
And I’m unsettled
You better let go or level
‘Cause it will haunt you first

Doesn't it seem strange
There's always a replay
They say it's the last days
I'm planning to sail away
Rediscover the shoreline
Before we come into wartime
It's all on you it follows you
Haunt it first or it'll bother you
Recognize the opponent through
Mechanize so they don't know you
Weaponize let it go just shoot
Specialize we've a whole lot to do
Close your eyes so you know the truth
This world is full of lies
And we'll always be the fool
Tools what we use but tools break
Music's good if losing's great
Starving artist lonely wanderer
Contemplating the thoughts
Of continuous ponderers
Nowhere left here to belong
Someday never came
Forever's gone
Songs and faces
Thoughts and places go on and on
Pain is taking too long to settle
Recentering efforts have left me unleveled
Oppressive guesswork
Somewhere seeking something better
Thinking the anima's still there
Asleep in me yet fingering my dreams
To please this thievery
Thus keeping me aware
Feeling I'm not really here
No fear is left within this soul
Everything will be paid for
Hell is here and on its course
Investing me elemental force
Jealousy envy and remorse
Befriended me before this war

Exit wounds I'm battling
Endless rooms and traveling
Believe I've founded disbelief
The silence speaks but makes no sound to me
Overcrowding me I can't breathe can't see
Down and deep the last thing I need is a bad dream
This fantasy is trapping me
But I can't blink or shut it off
We'll share the cost if it's not stopped
Better to take a loss than waste it all
Slave to invention mistaken intentions
Everything is less than the best I've invested
Another dead end only one road to lead us out
Trust me when I say I'm coming home with a demon's smile
No whereabouts where I've been's a mystery
Searching for the center
But it's never where I picture it to be
These are the last days we're living
It always is the end of time so nevermind Armageddon
You're given a mission we're living inside a new Renaissance
Alchemists magicians mathematicians telling us the truth
And pointing toward the stars
Signaling afar this is where we are
Everything we risk could be missed with the flip of a switch
Living in the dark I'm a part of the search
Watching all you zombies waiting to reach my arm out
I will haunt you first
Track Name: Possession of Failure
I don't know why I couldn't it
Found myself entombed in the music
Ruined out of tune and losing
The truth is I don't really love it
I use it only to escape
No substance to the art anymore
It's dark through the corridor
Its heart suffocating
Thanks to chloroform rappers choking up the atmosphere
Hanging from the chandeliers
Clearing out the clouds so another storm can approach
If you're underground you won't even know they're close
The sky a wall and it too will fall
Going to war with full force
The exorcist of Dreams Fade
I'm here to let you in to play
But hell is the game
Bet your wage
No way to be safe so you better be cautious
Tip toe silent through the fog
Or wind up in a coffin
To find you died and will live on

I can remember the days forever
Looking at how we changed and severed
Razorblade slits to the veins now they're painless
Painted sentimentals
Left it special but it's not better to fade
So let go let those memories settle
Taste the flame and turn their remains to a grave
Burning in a blaze
Did we die together?
Or have we come alive from the failures?
I don't have an answer but I guess it doesn't matter
I've seem to set a pattern
Eating me alive like Saturn
We live in a world of illusion
And I'm fluent in the language of the latter
I've channeled many distances
When traveling the differences
Had to include you into the confusion
Suffered greatly for it
Unthankfully it made my forecast morbid
Suicide is keeping us awake
You want to die
But you can't even sleep
Track Name: Distance Yourself
It was more fun in hell
But I’m looking for heaven now
I hope you’re happy
I’m not happy are you happy?
I’m not happy

And often times at night I wonder
What you're doing where you're at
If you're happy if you're safe
While I try to understand
Something in me just wasn't ready
Done, had enough let's stop pretending
Endings and continuations
Letting go begin living
Destiny wouldn't let me leave
Stuck too many nights
Alone isn't where I want to be
So I took a trip up north
I hope you realize I don't respect you
What a tragedy her past will always consume
Wasn't faithful wasn't thankful
All appreciation wasted
Shaking the way she made me feel so stupid
No care, remorse, and unshameful
The world just wasn't meant for us
Only purpose was ourselves
Guess I wasn't thorough enough
Time couldn't tell me any different
Resilient
Distanced myself from the feelings
Inner sense was always listening
Deviating from the secrets
Have you ever had to fake your intuition?
Evil Imagination written page by page
Our experience is gained from the waves we break
At high tide denied the feelings that I felt
Manipulating my mind in front of the fire
Just so she could watch me melt

Passing away
I’m passing away now

My life is an art and death is its project
I spend my days decorating my coffin
Remember you said I was your happy ending
Imagined it different
We can pretend still can't we?
Reinvest in the tragic friendship we left with
Undo the damage imagery letting go of the memories
Hell was in my heart to begin with
Heaven so far and distant
But I miss it
Every second that ticks I trick myself
Into thinking the prison I live in is only a cell
Can we really tell a difference?
More and more complex it gets
The best of it's experience
That's all anything really ever is or isn't
Forever is only the present
Nothing else exists
The seconds get more intense
The closer they crawl upon us
Stronger the dark hole begins to twist
Holds us in its grip
Alone is where you want to be now
We're only slowing us down
When everything is within pretend and the road is without
The motivation we envisioned inspiration is found
You could never be a friend because hell was too convincing
Heaven the only thing I'm missing

And I'm passing away
Passing away now

I made it to those gates but my key was rusted
Evidently the rain doesn't want me to come in
It wouldn't fit and once again
My dreams went missing
Sometimes we think that this journey is for nothing
Resistance is not natural
You gotta give to let it go
Just know it's a lot like leaving bloody footprints in the snow
Look for the path in the road as it slopes
Damaging the soul is to grow
But only if you get it back
And she doesn't take more than what you had
Leaving less than what you have to add
She was right you went left never minding the mess
As you juggle time to reflect
Recollect all the events remanufacturing the months
Ultimately divide yourself up into past seconds
Running for the nearest exit
I need to ask some better questions
Leaving the answers in the hands of heaven
Hell just came so highly recommended

You're passing away
Passing away now
Track Name: A Life Worth Forgetting
It was all just distance fading
Co-created monster making lately
Off and on foot to take the next step
It's dark when I look ‘cause hell is ahead
But they say that we need light, right?
We're in for a bright night
No help in sight this world we live is finite
Let's rise above it to try and discover
The constant need to suffer
We've lost our place became disgusted
Crawling to walk and fall forward
No progress or it's all over
Following a follower
Caught between a god, a song, and a photographer
If an image is worth no words say nothing
You're that fire that won't burn and it's so damn frustrating
Hazy memories wasting spaces that are left inside my head
Affecting my days keeping me anxious stressed I rest to deceive death
In a culture enthusiastic about having no regrets
Living fast with some dumb trend tattooed on their chest
Fashion acts as a producer of the future
Forecasting inaccurate skies
So that you the consumer strives
To self-fulfilling ends and lies

Let go of the old
Of the past, history, experience, the war
That was your life worth forgetting
A living morgue
What lasts is when it ever comes back
If it ever comes back

Happiness isn't a bright smile that lies across your face
It's you recognizing that inner voice that silently awaits
You see the potential is the same found in every body
And it doesn't come from your eyes or the brain
It's something not yet conscious
Do you feel Rob’d yet?
It's part of a process
The goal is to not let life live it for you
But to become one, focus, and enjoy it
Hold it even for a brief moment
More distant then distance
Yet the closest close that you can store within
Everything ends, begins, pretends, and continues again
And once then it is seen a connection
Can there really be a life worth forgetting?
The answer is yes but only if we can ask a better question
Therein lies the lesson without a need for evidence or second guessing
Accept it as severance or you will find that the power held is a plague
Stuck drawing lines when heaven and hell is the same
Partake in the frame to escape it
Step back and look behind
Faceless this is where strangers come to die
Track Name: The Other One
See through the eyes of another (The Other One)
Trapped like a prison step inside to come along

Step inside my body look at the world through my eyes
The fresh air penetrates your senses
In a second it materializes
Recollection sets in
Memories the lining of a sky polluted
Lose yourself to the music
But it's only silence
All is relative to your perspective no exceptions
Severance: The Art of Separation
Fusion Station 8 years later
I'm still here it's nice to see you
Mind has turned into a wasteland
Actors in a theatre
Play your role sit in the dark
Put on your mask enjoy the show
‘Cause here we are it's in the stars
Don't doubt me now just come and watch
Support the cast
It's freedom from the strings above
No puppet master
Did it all ourselves!
One with the cause
And it's all for the crowd
Whether they're screaming loud or bodies in a pile
And I can't figure it out
Questioning the difference
‘Cause these melodies are murderous
But the life we live is infinite
So what the hell's the point again?
I've got a problem with an awful lot of people
But I never let it show ‘cause heaven only knows
The karma we've created
Is the world stable?
No it's all a dream, a fantasy tale
We're all Play-Doh
So we shape and sculpt
Sometimes swallow it down in gulps
Homeless learning about the sorrow but not its cause
Lifting our desires to a higher plateau
Never realizing the shadow isn't a shadow at all
It's optional but pain is inevitable
Change cannot see itself
You gotta learn to let it go
If it comes back and it will
It may hurt but you gotta be rebuilt
When the door's closed and your window's frozen
To keep warm just take a lantern into the basement
Same with our souls and our pseudo-selves
There is no salvation only Self help

Even if it didn't matter I was there
Struggling for answers strangling the fear
I don't care what they have to say about me
I was living inside their minds
Before they were even aware of the outcome
And began bad mouthing
I don't want to be a king never crown me
Doubt me if you dare
Better come up for air
You're drowning down deep sound asleep
You better play for keeps you don't have a soul to lose
Though you have one out on lease in a rope and noose
A hellish set of dreams under lock and key
Something that I thought I lost to a serpent in the sea
You know nothing ever seizes to amaze me
Like these new age people with a so called “spiritual awakening”
You're the one to blame if you fail to live
It's a shame you became a bitch but that's the way it is
Track Name: At Night It Still Remembers You
I've tried to release these chains but they're only getting tighter
Seems the walls close in sometimes but lately they're opening up wider
I'm realizing I was left behind while the rest of the world expands
Damn it's scary to be a phantom
Held up for ransom it's more fun in hell but the past comes
And it runs away quick
Shedding blood just one more slit to the wrist
Persistent under an otherworldly influence
An occult insistence on the perversion of my nervous fluid
I'm on probation haven't I paid my debts?
I've erased all the places that I've went
And when I reflect I see the pieces clearer
Can't remember the past
Only the mirror
We disappear here
There isn't a possible way to put it in verse
In multiple words I've struggled to search
All over the world when right along
You were the heart of the bubble that burst
The part of the rubble that burnt
Began to learn you can't see numbers in the dark
The street's a dream I'm driving toward a wrong turn

And there's nothing to look back to
The sky, the stars, distract you
Panic sets in as the one you must surrender to
At night it still remembers you

Punishment I bet you're having fun with this
Inevitably we are running in circles
I thought the line was straight?
Instead it’s the hurtful calm that lurks and waits
The fear that cured you of the disease
That brought you here in the first place
It gets dropped off and leaves
I couldn’t keep up with the seconds
They continue to leak out
Afraid of feeling desperate I have kept it
All to myself
Exceptionally bad timing
It has led me to believe
That there is no such thing as silence
I've sensed it in a Book of Golden Precepts
Must've been something I read went and did
That made this mess I seem to have inherited
Alone a death amends an end again
My Severance
I don't want another friend




Yet there's nothing to look back to
The sky, the stars, distract you
Panic sets in it's the one you must surrender to
At night it still remembers you